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11.08.2012

Dear 25 year old self...



Dear 25 year old self,




 
You, my dear, are struggling. Struggling to understand yourself, to lose weight, to be open enough to talk to complete strangers, to fully experience life.

You watch a lot of television and feel more excited when you talk about that particular show to someone than you do when they ask you "how's your life going?"


You are kind of a mess.
A type of mess that only you can clean up, with the Lord's help.
That's part of your problem, I feel.
The reading of the Word and quiet time has been replaced for a long time with sleeping later and just going about your everyday monotone routine.
You always find an excuse not to go to church on Sundays.


Some days you are happy and some you are not.
Either way the emotion goes, you still feel like you are stuck in a rut.
Living at home is starting to feel like your just a roommate with your family.
Everyone goes to work and comes home and goes to their respected corners of the house.

A recent fight broke out and made you realize that you never want to go through it again. Your brain can barely wrap around the fact that it happened and even less how it affected you at 25. You already feel bad for young toddlers who go through this and have no place to escape to.


You realize that people fight, married or not. You get that.
You just don't really understand why it needs to come to a physical altercation.
Maybe that's because you haven't really ever found someone to get your blood pressure to rise. You are a very laid back person, maybe to a fault.

When it comes to communicating, you only really talk to your mom and your best friends. At work, your just a robot. Doing what you have to do to get things done AND trying not to let others lack of a good work ethic bring you down.

But here is the bright side: YOU WILL BE OKAY.

You just have to step your game up.
Join that gym your considering, bring a salad for lunch, drink a protein smoothie for breakfast, make small decisions every day.

Your not a tree, you can uproot what or where you are and start new.
I'm not saying you will quit your job tomorrow, because let's face it: this country can't afford for you to quit working.  You are in the low middle class who has to shell out hundreds of dollars for people who aren't working and just living off the government.


You are a 25 year old college graduate (first in your family to do so) who doesn't have any kids or even a boyfriend. Hell, even someone interested in you for that matter.
You worry about having enough money to survive and your $20.00 bank account last month made you realize how every penny counts.


You are going to be fine, it's just gonna take a while to get there.



5 comments:

  1. Hang in there, you are so not alone! I go through moments like that too. I'm single, and ALL of my friends are married, engaged, living with someone. Keep your chin up :)

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  2. WOW! This was deep, much deeper that deep fried butter. I love you, boo thang! Your life is YOUR novel. You can always erase and start over.

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  3. This is such a beautifully honest post and you are most definitely not alone in these sentiments. Wishing you such a beautifully inspiring life--those stars are yours my lady! :)

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  4. Love this!! I feel SO many of those things right now.

    ~Tiffany
    http://tiffanyd22.blogspot.com

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  5. I've been following your blog for a couple months but this is my first time commenting.. First off, bravo for being so transparent.. its not hard to open up about things this personal..

    And isn't it great to know that we are all kind of a mess.. in one way or another or a whole lot of them.. Hang in there. Hold on to God.. and I know for sure you will come out these times stronger!
    xo

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