Ya know, there really is no secret that I am a single gal working a job that doesn't bring me that much happiness and living at home with my parents.
I totally get it if you don't want to read anymore of this post today.
But I do have something for you gals that stick around.
I am currently studying the Book of Ruth.
This Bible study by Kelly Minter has really opened my eyes and has made me realize that I really don't know much about the Bible. Everything is connected and I have never dug deep enough into the Word to realize that, until now.
Until this study.
The paragraph I read last week has stuck with me profusely.
If you know anything about how I feel being single for this long, here is the best way to describe it:
We mused about something I promise I don't excessively chew on - singleness.
But occasionally it just has to be addressed..
Like when your younger siblings are getting married, etc. I don't even remember what got us on this, but when I asked one of my beautiful, single friends if she felt she would ever get married, she looked off with glinty eyes, "I don't let myself go there." The problem was that our conversation was beginning to take her there and her emotions caught her off guard. After my friend's honest statement, I started wondering how many amazing women - whether it's about singleness, childlessness, or other unfulfilled dreams - are doing life but don't ever let themselves "go there."
- Kelly Minter, pg. 92
I am currently in Chapter 3 where Ruth has gone to the threshing floor with Boaz. I will admit that I am not as confident as I used to be when it comes to men. I have become such a robot with my day to day things. If a guy talks to me, I freeze up and tend to just say small words and then go on about my business.
As I was reading the other day, Ruth does the exact opposite of what I would be doing: I would be lying on my couch at home watching tv AND she is walking out dressed in her best clothes going to meet/lay down at the feet of the one man she knows can redeem her. That takes some guts, y'all.
Further reading yesterday brought me to a new place.
Ruth had been married already and her husband died.
She mourned for him, I'm sure.
But as Naomi told her, it is time to "move on."
I am not sure exactly what I am holding on to....
Regret of past relationships? No.
Wondering when it's all going to line up for me? Probably.
While reading on pg. 99 of the study, Kelly asked a very good question that I haven't fully answered to myself yet:
Do you sense that God is asking you to throw off some weighty garments?
Unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, discontentment, jealousy, mourning,
or anything else that might be keeping you in a stagnant place?
I bet you are wondering how to do that though right?
I know I was.
Ephesians 4: 22-24 has pretty great instructions of how God wants us to be about our past...
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
It's our past, y'all.
It has PASSED.
Let's not let life pass us by anymore.
Basically, this is what it boils down to:
Take off the old.
Put on the new.
Take the risk of being available.