I am not really sure how this post is going to go, but I do hope it helps someone out there in blogland.
For the past two weeks I have been trying to wrap my head around what has been happening in my life lately. A lot of changes happened in the last 6 weeks of 2013 and I will forever cherish those sweet & awkward but lesson-learned moments.
To recap, I had been talking to someone that was generally interested in me and even told me those 3 words: I like you.
He brought me flowers and a huge bag of all my favorite snacks/candy the first time we met after I locked the door in his face (long story but basically I can't handle plans being changed on me, ha).
He took me to lunches, dinners, movies and even a weekend trip to the beach a couple of days before New Year's….
I met his parents, who are the sweetest.
I stayed with him at his place the second time seeing him.
We slept in the same bed - even though nothing was done sexually.
I told him my stance on waiting until marriage and he said he respected that and would not do anything to make me feel uncomfortable.
I really liked this guy to the point of where I could see things progressing into the future, which is not something I admit…ever.
All of a sudden, texts became one word answers and things went downhill really fast. I told him I cared for him and he said "I can tell." After a phone call, I was willing to give it another shot and even sent the first "I hope you have a great day" text the next morning.
Miscommunication made the days following the phone call go from bad to worse.
I finally realized the more time away from him that I could see little things that made me realize I didn't want to keep this up anymore.
I began to wonder if I was "all or nothing" for this particular person because he is the first man in almost 5 years who has taken any initiative to want to be with me for more than a day or two.
I think a part of me got so caught up in all the "i like you's" and "I can't wait to see you's" that I forgot to really be real with myself for a second. Was this my person?
Had I told myself "Your not getting any younger, Cass. Time to think about your future and everyone around you is getting married…You are a bridesmaid 3 times this year…your turn is coming…etc."
The more time I had to sit and stare at a phone that was not getting any use,
I realized how much I know God loves me and he has made someone for me.
Someone who is going to completely knock my socks off.
But when I heard the silence, that's when I got my answer.
I realized a few things about myself and a few dating characteristics that are non-negotionables from now on:
He must be able to make me laugh AND sing in the car on road trips.
He must be a follower of Jesus who wants to pray; even over something as simple as our food before we eat.
He must open my door for me; especially going somewhere in his car.
He must want to appreciate me on his Instagram
(this one may be silly, but it's important to me).
I will NOT stay at his place after the first few weeks of talking to someone.
I will not sleep in the same bed unless I have a ring on my finger.
So overall, I am glad I went in like a wrecking ball the latter part of 2013.
It was a learning experience that I will forever cherish. I still remember at the beginning of talking to C and praying every night to God that if this was not the man for me, to please remove him before things got too serious.
I did not go into this thinking it would fail, but I am forever grateful that God took him away when it was needed. I will never fully understand why things went from wonderful to the worst, but I'll still smile when I hear his name.
Thank you for all you taught me, C. I hope you find her someday.