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1.12.2014

The silence gave me an answer.


I am not really sure how this post is going to go, but I do hope it helps someone out there in blogland.
 
For the past two weeks I have been trying to wrap my head around what has been happening in my life lately.  A lot of changes happened in the last 6 weeks of 2013 and I will forever cherish those sweet & awkward but lesson-learned moments.   

To recap, I had been talking to someone that was generally interested in me and even told me those 3 words: I like you.  



He brought me flowers and a huge bag of all my favorite snacks/candy the first time we met after I locked the door in his face (long story but basically I can't handle plans being changed on me, ha).  

He took me to lunches, dinners, movies and even a weekend trip to the beach a couple of days before New Year's….

I met his parents, who are the sweetest.
I stayed with him at his place the second time seeing him.

We slept in the same bed - even though nothing was done sexually.
I told him my stance on waiting until marriage and he said he respected that and would not do anything to make me feel uncomfortable.


I really liked this guy to the point of where I could see things progressing into the future, which is not something I admit…ever.



 
All of a sudden, texts became one word answers and things went downhill really fast.  I told him I cared for him and he said "I can tell."  After a phone call, I was willing to give it another shot and even sent the first "I hope you have a great day" text the next morning.

Miscommunication made the days following the phone call go from bad to worse.
I finally realized the more time away from him that I could see little things that made me realize I didn't want to keep this up anymore.

I began to wonder if I was "all or nothing" for this particular person because he is the first man in almost 5 years who has taken any initiative to want to be with me for more than a day or two. 

I think a part of me got so caught up in all the "i like you's" and "I can't wait to see you's" that I forgot to really be real with myself for a second.  Was this my person?

Had I told myself "Your not getting any younger, Cass. Time to think about your future and everyone around you is getting married…You are a bridesmaid 3 times this year…your turn is coming…etc."

The more time I had to sit and stare at a phone that was not getting any use,
I realized how much I know God loves me and he has made someone for me.
Someone who is going to completely knock my socks off.


But when I heard the silence, that's when I got my answer.




  
I realized a few things about myself and a few dating characteristics that are non-negotionables from now on:
 
He must be able to make me laugh AND sing in the car on road trips.

 
He must be a follower of Jesus who wants to pray; even over something as simple as our food before we eat. 

 
He must open my door for me; especially going somewhere in his car.

 
He must want to appreciate me on his Instagram 
(this one may be silly, but it's important to me).

 
I will NOT stay at his place after the first few weeks of talking to someone.

 
I will not sleep in the same bed unless I have a ring on my finger.  


 

 
So overall, I am glad I went in like a wrecking ball the latter part of 2013.  

It was a learning experience that I will forever cherish.  I still remember at the beginning of talking to C and praying every night to God that if this was not the man for me, to please remove him before things got too serious.  

I did not go into this thinking it would fail, but I am forever grateful that God took him away when it was needed.  I will never fully understand why things went from wonderful to the worst, but I'll still smile when I hear his name.
 
Thank you for all you taught me, C.  I hope you find her someday.
 
 
 
 
 

6 comments:

  1. Beautiful post! Thank-you for sharing! This reminds me of an experience that I went through with a guy that I liked at college last year. He had to transfer at the last minute to a school across the country, and we didn't stay in touch after that. I questioned God for awhile after as to why he brought this guy into my life only to have him leave, but I am grateful for the lessons that I learned!

    And I want my future guy to love on me on Instagram too! ;-)

    xoxo Miss ALK
    www.southernbelleintraining.com

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  2. Everything happens for a reason! Stay strong Cassie! You seem like a great person and you deserve another great person. Try not to focus on societal pressures or feel like you are getting left behind by everyone else. You are on the right track and you are on God's timeline, not yours. He knows where he is taking you and where he wants you to be. And I know, this is harder said than done. I am currently struggling with God's timeline (not about a husband, but about becoming a mother). Keep your chin up!

    Sarah

    swannspace.tumblr.com/

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  3. I know you will meet someone that will treat you so great!! God has a plan for you and your future, even when it's hard to see and be patient. Great post!

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  4. Cassie,

    I can not even begin to tell you how much I can relate to this post. I have always settled in relationships. After several bad ones, I decided that I was not going to settle anymore. Even if I have to be a bridesmaid in 50 weddings before I found my "one". Needless to say, the "one" found me and we are getting married this May. Don't settle. It will happen, and when it does you will be so happy you waited on him.

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  5. Well, I know we already talked about all this but you will find your person! I just know it!You're awesome, and funny, and wonderful person. So, that guy can just go somewhere else with his "I can tell". :)

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  6. I'm impressed with your commitment to being the person you want to be. Keep trusting in that.

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