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7.15.2014

Being THAT Friend




I try my hardest to keep my life as calm as possible.  A little stressed at times?
Well yes, who isn't, but nothing that is too crazy to handle. 
 
Lately, I have been feeling like the things I do for other people are not reciprocated. 
Before I go on, I should admit: I am not a perfect friend.  I mess up a lot.  I am thankful when my friends cut me slack without me even realizing it.  During this season of weddings I have noticed how stressed everyone gets and how friendships either get stronger or a lot weaker. 
 
This isn't a post to bash other people and how they handle friendships.  I want this post to be a way for me to look back and know that whatever I do now/will do in the future is only encouraging the people I keep closest to me.
 
A while back I read the most significant post from Rachel Rewritten and I went back to it earlier this week when I really felt down.  Rachel's mother gave her the most perfect advice (in my opinion) and I wanted to share it with y'all:

"I want you to learn something early in life that it took me a long time to grasp. Your happiness is what matters most, as selfish as that sounds. You can't base your worth on what others think of you. You can't let people walk all over you just so you can assure that they're happy with you and what you've done for them. You'll waste your life doing that if you don't learn it early. And these 'friends' of yours aren't making you happy. See that, please, and do something about it." - Rachel's mom
 
 
The one sentence in that entire paragraph that really struck me was when she said you can't let everyone walk over you just so they are still your friends because of what you do for them.  I am so guilty of this.  One of my love languages is giving gifts.  I love making 'happies' for others all the way to big birthday gifts.  I don't like confrontation at all. 
 
But you know what ends up happening?  I end up stressed by the middle of the month because I've spent all my money on other people (after the bills, of course).  I end up digging out of my savings just to keep some cash around.  That isn't a way to live.  I must get out of the mindset that I can "save later" and that all these gifts are meaningful. 
No, communication and quality time with someone is what adds meaning to life.
 
I know my post has been a little bit all over the place today, but I just want to write down that I want to be THAT friend.
 
That friend that....
 
  • is always there to encourage when someone is sick or just feeling down
  • asks about your day and truly cares about the answer
  • brings joy into other people's lives
  • makes you laugh without even trying
  • takes time to hang out without my cell phone around
  • randomly sends cards/letters in the mail instead of an email/Facebook message
  • the friend that takes time to remember little details
  • encourages, loves, and asks how I can pray for someone
  • Actually pray for that person, etc...
 
 
Do you have friends that are "that" friend for you?
What are some qualities they have that I missed on this list?
 
 

2 comments:

  1. I want to be "that friend" too! Great post!

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  2. Just remember that friendships grow and change through time. In life it really is about YOU and YOUR happiness. Take it from someone who has lost/gained many friends... it should be easy and enjoyable to be a friend. Money and gifts shouldn't mean anything and if they do then I would reevaluate that friendship. Life gets really busy and circles grow smaller and smaller... I don't even people at all when they have 15 best friends -- that's a lot of work lol. Make yourself happy Cassie! Stop spending all your money! Make your savings amount a BILL. Look at it like $20 - $50 - $100 whatever your goal is gets paid before anything else.

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